Judith Johnson
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Penny for them - a little light relief!

15/2/2014

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When Aunty Janet took me and my three cousins by train to Catalonia in the mid-1960s, we stopped en route in Paris. On visiting the Eiffel Tower, I retorted “Blimey, you’d think if they could build something like this, they could do a proper toilet!” This was the era when most loos in France were a hole in the ground with two footprints either side. My ten year old self was not amused!  

Since then I’ve always kept a keen eye on loos during foreign travels: Southern Italian bar and café owners clearly pride themselves not only on the quality of their coffee, but also the cleanliness of their toilets, however humble the establishment; in Dubrovnik I encountered a modern version of the hole in the ground, but this was stainless-steel, state of the art, and very regularly cleaned.

The 1st class rosette though must go to the Austrian Tyrol, where the toilets are universally spotless, even in the tiniest mountain hut. I found the following quote in my trusty Hammerton’s Peoples of All Nations (1920, so you’ll excuse the patronising language) – “In their habits the Austrian farmers and cultivators – the great majority of the people – are very particular about cleanliness, both in their dress and their surroundings. Some of the inns which cater specially for country-folk are as dainty and well-managed as any in the land. The rooms are light and airy, the tables are covered with tempting cloths, and have flowers on them, the food is excellent, and the beer beyond praise. To an English visitor who showed his surprise at finding an hotel of this character run for peasants, the manager replied: “The peasants would not come here if it were not perfectly clean and well arranged.”

I can vouch for the continuation of these standards a century on. My favourite of all must be the Gipfelrestaurant at the top of the Hohe Salve in Soll, where you can both ‘spend a penny’ and enjoy what has to be one of the finest views it’s possible to witness from a toilet seat anywhere in the whole wide world!

Despite this blog post, I am hopefully not more than averagely obsessive about toilets. I sometimes genuinely shudder to think what visitors to our sceptre’d isle, especially Austrians, must think of the mucky facilities on offer at most British attractions. The filthiest toilet I’ve ever seen was in a trendy coffee house in Chiswick a year or two back. Its elegant customers sat reading their broadsheets and munching patisserie – little did they know what horrors awaited them in the water closet. I only just resisted the impulse to let the manager know what I thought  of his  euphemism! 

Seriously though, at a time when many people are out of work, what’s the problem with paying someone a decent wage to keep your café’s toilet clean?  There’s a restaurant on Hastings sea-front serving good, reasonably-priced food in a friendly, relaxed atmosphere, and we’ve enjoyed going there on a number of past occasions, but the toilet is dirty and unkempt. It kind of begs the question, If they can’t keep the toilet clean, what’s the kitchen like?  

So, among my many Walter Mitty fantasy jobs (Blue Badge Guide, obituary writer, Studs Terkel’s personal assistant, paid travel blogger!) I can add Secret Toilet Policewoman.  

Beware – I may drop by to inspect the littlest room in your establishment very soon!
 


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Julie Madly Deeply

2/2/2014

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When my Mum took me to see The Sound of Music at Cranbrook Regal, we both fell in love with the film. Mum was working summers in the Austrian Tyrol, and my brother and I had spent several holidays staying with her. Somehow, Julie Andrews as Maria Von Trapp fused for me with an idealised image of my mother.  I think we went back a couple more times to see the film, though we couldn't compete with the lady in Cardiff, who famously went every night for its whole run of years!  

The film has stood the test of time, and is still a magnificent example of story-telling of a very high quality, embodying something essentially valuable about the human spirit. If I ever find myself low in spirits (thankfully rarely!) I know that watching Julie and the cast will lift my heart.  Some years ago, when Martin and I visited Salzburg with our infant son, we may have tested our Bavarian friends' patience beyond endurance by bursting into song all over town, and I recently got very over-excited when I was told by a distant cousin that my father's five-times removed cousins actually live in a Schloss in Salzburg where part of the film was shot. Whoohoo!
 
I went to the EM Forster Theatre in Tonbridge last night to see Julie Madly Deeply, a wonderful evening of cabaret starring Sarah-Louise Young, ably supported on piano by Michael Roulston, her musical director. I'd have resisted anything that had a whiff of snideness about Julie Andrews, but on reading that "this is a delightfully funny, candid love letter to a true show business survivor", I booked right away! It was a great show. We went with two gay friends, seasoned devotees of musical theatre, and they too were so happy to have seen it. The show has been a huge hit in the West End, and is now on tour, opening in Belfast last week, and it was a tribute to Sarah-Louise that by the end of the evening she had warmed up a reserved Kent audience into a loved-up group, who floated out of the theatre on huge smiles!
 
At one point in the evening, Sarah-Louise asked if there was anyone in the audience who had seen Julie Andrews in the theatre. Last night there were two: a lady who had seen her in pantomime at the Palladium, when both she and Julie were 11 years old, inspiring her to sing in amateur choirs throughout the following decades, and another, who had seen Julie in My Fair Lady at Drury Lane, doubly memorable as it was on the eve of the Bay of Pigs crisis.

Most of us know Julie Andrews best from Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music and, latterly, The Princess Diaries, but it was great to hear something about the intervening years. We were told that she will be visiting the UK in May. Sarah-Louise has never met her in person, and you can't help hoping that Julie might pop over before then to see the show incognito!

Meantime, if you're a SoM fan, I can highly recommend you  book up for a date on the rest of the tour  (see the website below for venues)  - I promise, you won't be disappointed!

www.juliemadlydeeply.com

 


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    Lifelong bookworm, love writing too. Have been a theatrical agent and reflexologist among other things, attitude to life summed up by Walt Whitman's MIRACLES.

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